4.27.2005

Dubya Comes Out!

George and Abdullah,
Sittin' on a see-saw
K - I - L - L - I - N - G

4.24.2005

Reds Can't Take a Joke

If Conservatives so loathe
Being looked down upon
They should stop calling Liberals
"The Devil's Spawn."

They fling terms like "traitor," "god hater"
At a person who's ideas, debates or reasons
Defy their own or confound their thoughts;
Behave like the ignorant and hide behind Jesus.

So, making jokes about apparent lapses of education
Or alluding to the simplicity of rural fundamentals
Is much more decent, light-hearted, true
Than eternal curses and slanderous attacks; certainly more gentle.

4.23.2005

Hail, Condaleeza!



Who is this Condoleeza? Why does she seem so strange?
Maybe she's an old white woman, lost, deluded and deranged.

Tiny little body hanging, wispy, from that big ol' head
Is she E.T.'s mother, searching, praying, fearing he's dead.

Wait! She's put helmet on, "marching as to war."
But it's not made of metal! Oh, that's just her "hair."

She dons her gloves, spikes her feet, checks her secret files;
It's now, and not a moment sooner, she sets that rigid smile:
She is the Dragon Lady, armed with venom and with wiles.
(She shoots that venom twix't her teeth, it'll blind your eyes.)


Frist Wants First

Frist beats the bible.

Why?
To win attention
From the nation;
With that, he thinks, he'll have no rival
For the next
Republican domination.

4.21.2005

Secretary of Rice

Condi's hanging out with Putin
She says he's got to leave his post.
Threatens him with "Orange Revolution"
(Her favorite color! She's so "the most!")

4.11.2005

How to Rescue a Hostage



Learn too much about Falluja?
Careful! They might try to shoot ya'!
And take a lesson well to heart,
"Checkpoints," like pop-ups, will dart
Around town, no-see'ums, bite you in the dark.

What has Thune Done?

"Spring Recess, Senators, go to your corners."
(Thune didn't come home to bask in his honors!
The Lobbying Senator answers each call
If he thinks it's the President passing the ball.
Throws constituents a bone like "fetus" or "flag"
South Dakotan's eat up his "brand new bag"!
He shows the world that his state's in the way;
Thune has bigger fish to flay!

4.02.2005

Selling birth control pills is Evil



If birth control is wrong
It seems to me
Government should control
As well, the MEN's fertility!.
(A bumper stinker you'll never see:
"Stop on-demand vasectomy")


Lebanon and Syria, here they go again!






Killing Hariri offered Syria no gain
It must have been Saddam Hussein!

The crater showed that bomb was BIG
Saddam made it at his new gig

Who hates Syria, cares less for Lebanon?
Not Saddam? It must have been Satan!

Euthanasia


Nobody writes it
Nobody says it
Starvation, thirst, grotesque!
I don't get it



Why must she suffer more, suffer long
If death is an answer
This manner is wrong!

Criminals sentenced to death
Have just a few moments until final breath
Smarmy hypocrisy glistens and glides
Over brutes who kill with the lies:
"Culture of Life"

All the government now
Gets a piece of the action
Slow slow death for the innocent
Sidestep the illegal "merciful" faction

Does anyone know
What's right or wrong in this situation?
No, no mere human, but ask yourself this:
Would I treat a plant in this fashion ?

One-Party Future


What can just one person do?
Get god? NO! Get a clue!
If Dems become more GOP
We'll salute the flag on bended knee!

They want their bible as the law
The Constitution slows 'em
Re-Separate the church and state;
Get off your knees and stop them!

Update the logo donkey
And jettison the past
Start ALL over, The NEW Dem Party
Or it's everybody's ass.

The Hope of the Pope

Picture our Chrixtremists
How they snarl, accuse, intolerate.
Compare them to the real deal;
John Paul who died upon this date